Characters: Heloise Williams, Joe Shepard and James Bellizia
Setting: Heloise and James' apartment in Brooklyn. Thursday evening April 2008.
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Joe: What do you think is the direct relation between music and space?
James: Well, if you mean what is the relationship between music and space, I would say that music lives in space. Sometimes it creates space. It is space, moving. And the whole thing about enormous, cataclysmic events in space wherein stars explode and create new systems which all have a vibration...vibration being what music is, bouncing through space as we know it moving our eardrums and eliciting more bodily and outer-bodily responses...and so on...
(ASIDE: Has somebody been smoking the potweed?)
Heloise: It's like a champagne supernova in the sun.
James: Yeah.
Joe: Great. Heloise, What if a weasel walks into your bedroom at night and whispers "There's a mouse in the house and I can't sleep. You're a cat you're supposed to catch it. You're a creep." Heloise, what are your thoughts?
Heloise: First of all this is a trick question. Don't try to trick me Joseph Shepard!! Everyone in high school called me "the weasel." It's about second-guessing myself and fears whispering nightmares in my ears.
Joe: James I have a question for you. What are the top 3 songs that make you feel like you have diarrhea?
Heloise: You mean "the cheesy chills?"
James: “We Built This City.”
Joe: Mine is “Roam,” by the B-52's.
Heloise: I agree about “We Built This City.” But... “That's What Friends Are For” is pretty bad...or what’s that one...”Lean On Me.” (starts singing.)
(All singing now)
Joe: I just have a problem with the whole rock and roll stereotype that everyone has right now. I mean, I was just at SXSW and it was like I could hear people shouting in the street... "Hey I’m in a band. I'm in a band!" So, do you guys have a problem with those stereotypes when you're out? I mean what do you think about ultra-coolness?
(ASIDE: Joe was the guy wandering around SXSW wearing eye makeup and a ladies swimsuit yelling matter of fact-ly at people on the street. "Yes, we're in a band. Yes, we're in a band” over and over again. It was pretty hilarious.)
Heloise: You mean like a new kind of gum, something that's really minty?
James: It's ultra cool.
Joe: I would like to say that I agree with it. It is the backbone of our music society.
Heloise: Joe I have a question for you: If you had to nominate the President, Vice President and Secretary of State for the music society, who would it be?
Joe:
The Secretary of State would be George Clinton.
President is Floyd.
Vice President is Donna Summers Jr. circa 1920 (ASIDE: what????)
Dudes, I'm gonna go get some tacos. Do you mind?
James: no.
Half an hour later . . . Heloise is singing along with Ella Fitzgerald singing “Knock on Wood.” Joe starts typing here: *****$$$$##
Heloise is belting out "Sunny." James is in black wig and glasses smoking. Pink tights and yellow lights . No shoes allowed. “Thank you for that Sunshine, Thank you for that love. Ohhhh Right on Sunny!!”
(ASIDE: AGAIN what????)
Joe: Um Heloise . . . Hi! So. .
Heloise: Thanks for coming to my crib tonight....(kisses me and fondles my body and privates).
(ASIDE: Lies!!)
Joe : James do you wanna ask Heloise a question? She won’t listen to me.
James: I just did. Heloise what are you listening to now?
Heloise: I’m, listening to Ella Fitzgerald’s “Willow Weep For Me.” I’m trying to figure out what year it’s from. I think it’s 1950?
James: Its like Broadway blues.
Joe: Do you like Broadway, James?
James: Mostly no...I like “Hair” and “Jesus Christ Superstar.” Both of those records are some of my earliest memories of music. “Hair” was first.....Joe....do you have early memories of music?
Joe: Not really, my mom used to sing me "Down by the Old Mill Stream.” I have early memories of jumping out of windows, gymnastics, hockey and mustard sandwiches.
***Heloise now starts to DJ...
Joe: Who is this?
Heloise: “Acceptable in the 80's” Calvin Harris.
James: Joe here’s a question for you. Are you emailing right now?
Joe: No. I’m on Manhunt.com
***Heloise is now in a pink lace prom dress.
Joe: Ewwww Barbie feet. Heloise what do you have to say about Barbie feet?
Heloise: They're weird but kind of awesome.
Joe: Are we still doing this interview? James....what matters?
James: Music matters..
Joe: Shut up don’t say that..
***Heloise keeps trying on dresses. James has apparently said something she doesn’t like very much and she seems a tad mad. She is now in a slinky black number with her boobs popping out all over the place. She just put them in my face. Still listening to Calvin Harris.
Joe: Heloise I heard that your from England?
Heloise: Je m'appelle Maurice...No. I'm not but my parents are. Ohhh this is a really good dress on me. I just lowered the straps.
Another half hour later, Heloise takes over the keyboard:
I'm on. I'm getting complaints already about my style on the keyboards (computer keyboards).
Heloise: So who's zoomin' who?
Joe: Heloise, if you had to write a song and you had to choose 3 instruments to make a whole album?
Heloise: Tuba, synths (cuz they can do anything) and cello.
Heloise: What about you?
Joe: Drums, xylophone and vocoder or magic flute/ skin flute.
James: Well . . . three is tough but . . . drums, guitar and bass.
Heloise: That's pretty BASS-IC!!
James: Yep.
Joe: WHAT AGE is appropriate to give it up? Doesn't every artist come to a wall?
Heloise: I would say it's totally individual. For instance dancers can have certain physical limitations although some dance into their 80's. But I think more than anything it's mental. It's about how you feel internally
Joe: Do you think that Bette Midler would say that in her new revue?
Heloise: Bette Midler would probably have something very witty to say like: As long as there is a wind beneath my wings . . . or something like that. You know my fantasy bridal shower would be to go see her show in Vegas.
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Heloise & The Savoir Faire’s Trash, Rats and Microphones is out April 29, 2008 on Yep Roc/Simian Records.
Heloise & The Savoir Faire’s Myspace
