• You can buy the most expensive frozen pizza in the store but it still tastes like a frozen pizza.
• If the package says: “Use in a well-ventilated area”, use it in a well-ventilated area. Ask our bass player about the couple hours he spent vomiting everything he’d eaten since 1992 after sealing the brick wall in our practice space.
• That jerky stick at the gas station looks awesome, but it’s gonna give you the shits.
• If you’re a religious person questioning your faith, listen to some George Carlin recordings. Problem solved. Unless you wanted to stay religious.
• I was your typical sullen teenager the day my mom dragged me to a concert on a Sunday afternoon. As we approached the theater, the star of the show was getting off his tour bus. My mom said “Welcome to Milwaukee!” and asked if he would mind if I took a picture of the two of them. She gave me the camera. I took the pic. I was thinking, “Who is this guy? This is stupid. I want to get out of here.” We went in. The show started. My jaw hit the floor as my life was changed forever. My keepsake from this momentous day in my life? A picture of my mom with Buddy Rich.
• Whistling the theme song to The Price is Right in public will get you a couple of weird looks.
• The more bumper stickers on the car in front of me, the less I care about anything that person has to say.
• Unless they have the one with the Darwin fish eating the Jesus fish. That one’s awesome.
• I love to cook. I’m very good at it. I recently got a job that pays me well enough to eat out more often. Having someone else cook for you is way better.
• A perfectly cooked steak is sublime, but eating seafood makes me feel like a king. Crab legs, scallops, oysters, smoked salmon, lobster, sushi… Decadence.
• I learned to play the drums using a crappy old snare and my parent’s set of wicker bar stools set up like the rest of the drum kit. If you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way to do it.
• I destroyed those bar stools.
• If I could go to a store and purchase the ability to do a spot-on Christopher Walken impression, I’d pay whatever they’re asking.
• Stage banter: Deeply meaningful and laden with important social commentary or Funny? Always go with funny. There’s only one Bono and that’s enough.
• Every now and again, I’ll come up with some crazy-ass fill in the middle of a song and one of my bandmates will shoot me a “Wow!” look. To get that look from someone who’s familiar with your bag o’ tricks - that’s gold.
• If you have to clean up the place before you can set up your equipment, maybe you shouldn’t be recording at that studio.
• A comfortable drum stool makes all the difference.
• Vic Firth American Classic Hickory 5B Nylon Tip. I’ve never felt the need to try anything else.
• I’ll take The Family Guy over The Simpsons any day.
• Back when I was just getting involved in the local music scene, I was also doing workshops with the local improv comedy troupe. I remember exactly where I was, sitting on that shitty couch in my girlfriend’s apartment, when I got to that fork in the road: Comedy or Rock? I believe I made the right choice. But I often wonder about the road not taken. I’d have made it to Saturday Night Live. Maybe just for one season, but I would have made it.
--Tommy Dougherty [April 19, 2008]
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The Lackloves' Cathedral Square Park is available now through Rainbow Quartz Records.
http://www.rainbowquartz.com
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